Damage Control Read online

A slight feeling of relief flowed through Tyler. “No. I was sixteen, not sure how old they were. Seventeen or under, though.”

  “I'll float the idea by the powers that be that the chances of any of you being of age is very slim, but Tyler, the story will get out. We've already put out a blind item, and there’ll be more, and not just from us. I doubt we're the only ones with the video. None of the mainstream media is likely to show it, even if you were all over eighteen, because it's too porny. But if this thing isn't already all over the internet I'd be surprised, and everyone is going to report on it. Well, maybe not PBS, although you never know. My boss was talking about showing censored clips. Enough to show it’s you and what's going on, but with enough blocked out to get by the FCC.”

  Tyler groaned. “Fuck me.”

  “Get ready to bend over, hon. The world is about to cram its dick up your ass, minus the lube and reach around.”

  “Shut up.”

  “You need to get your agent and brother on this right away. I'm serious, Ty. You’re about to get spit-roasted again, and it won't be nearly as much fun this time.”

  It hadn't been all that much fun the first time. Tyler had come away from the experience with the opinion that threesomes were overrated, especially threesomes with supposedly straight teenaged jocks. In Tyler’s opinion, sex with teenagers in general was overrated, which was probably why his next big scandal involved an adult. If people started digging, they might uncover that, too. The court documents were supposed to be sealed, but there weren't supposed to be any copies of the threesome video in existence, either. Tyler broke out in a cold sweat just thinking about it.

  A low, throbbing pain started to pulse at the base of his skull. He felt like he was in a tiny boat cresting a huge wave. Any second the wave would break and he would plunge down, down, down. “Thanks for the heads up, Ethan,” he managed to say through lips that felt numb. “I owe you big time.”

  “Yeah, you do, but you know I still adore you, even if you were a shitty boyfriend. And seriously. You didn't hear any of this from me.”

  “Of course not. I've gotta go. My agent needs to know what's going on, even if she does end up killing me.” Tyler took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “And Ryan, too. The sooner, the better. Anyway, give Charlie a kiss from me.”

  “I'll kiss Charlie, but not for you. Good luck. I'm not sure what I can do from my end, but I'll try to help you. I can't be too obvious, though. Stay strong, and keep in touch. Pervert.”

  “You’re such an ass. Bye, Ethan.”

  After he'd hung up the phone, Tyler sat on the bed and tried to process. The video in question was from a security camera set up in his high school’s weight room. It hadn't occurred to any of the boys that it would there, but equipment had been disappearing from the room and the administration wanted to find the culprits. Instead they saw more than any of them had ever wanted to see.

  All three boys had been suspended, and Tyler spent the next three weeks at Bridges to Salvation, a camp in Wisconsin that guaranteed results for special cases like him.

  Just thinking about Bridges made Tyler twitch, and he fell back on one of the few things he'd learned from his years of therapy that ever helped him. He sat still and counted slowly until his breathing evened out and his heart no longer raced. Then he got out of bed and went to wake his brother.

  Ryan would fix this for him, or do his damnedest trying. He would deal with his agent and the press and the studio, and in Ryan's eyes Tyler would be a child again. It didn't matter what Tyler did. He'd never be anything besides the little brother who was broken. The one who always needed fixing because, unlike his brothers, perfection always eluded him. He'd never be anything but damaged in his family's eyes. Even his mother's, which were mirrors of his own.

  He picked his phone back up. Before Alicia, before even Ryan, the person he needed to talk to was Purvi Kapoor, his PA and BFF.

  Tyler: You know how I always say don't panic?

  Purvi: You do? When?

  Tyler: Shut up. It's time to panic.

  Purvi: What the fuck is going on?

  Tyler: TMZ has a sex video of me when I was in high school w/ 2 guys. I told you about the video, right? Well, it's out there. I'm boned. Utterly boned.

  Purvi: What video? You never told me about a video. I'm gonna quit if you don't call me right fucking now.

  Tyler: Later. Need to talk with Ryan first.

  Purvi: Fine. I see how you are. See if I save your ass this time.

  Tyler: But you love my ass.

  Purvi: Truth. Call me as soon as you can. Have Ryan call me, too.

  With Purvi semi-informed, Tyler went to Ryan’s kitchen and flipped on the lights. He fiddled with the complicated coffee maker and eventually got it to start brewing a pot. Then, knowing he couldn't put it off any longer, went to go get Ryan up.

  It turned out to be unnecessary. When Tyler approached his room, he saw a tiny sliver of light shining beneath the door. He knocked softly and Ryan called out for him to come in, his voice sounding wide awake.

  Tyler found him still dressed, only his suit jacket and shoes removed. He sat on his still-made bed, his laptop open and balanced on his flat stomach. He closed it and set it aside.

  “Shit, Ryan, it's after three. Do you ever sleep?”

  “You’re awake,” Ryan pointed out.

  “Yeah, about that,” Tyler said. “I just got a call from Ethan.”

  Ryan scrunched his face up in thought. “Ethan. He works for one of the tabloids, doesn’t he?”

  “Yeah, TMZ. And, um, they found the video. Somehow. I thought it was destroyed, but Ethan’s seen it because he fucking described it to me in gory detail. I'm fucked, Ryan. I'm well and truly screwed.”

  “What video?”

  “The video. The one from high school. You know, with those two football players. Ethan says they're thinking about showing it, at least a censored version.”

  Ryan’s eyes went cold. “Like hell they are! They can't show that. You were all underage. I need to send a cease and desist immediately. Christ. The timing on this is atrocious. Brad and Rachel are getting married in two weeks. How could you?”

  Tyler started to count.

  “I told you that you were going to regret that little stunt of yours one day and here we are, aren't we? Won't Dad just eat this up? He's going to be impossible. More impossible.”

  Tyler continued counting.

  “Okay, first, I need to call Alicia. Hopefully she’ll help us rally and not drop you as a client. Even with a cease and desist this is going to get out. People have seen it. It's sure to have already been leaked. This is a nightmare! Tyler, do you have any idea of the mess you've caused?”

  Tyler stopped counting. There weren't enough numbers in the universe to center him tonight. “I was sixteen in that video, Ryan. Sixteen! No, I wasn't thinking at the time about how I was going to inconvenience you in the future. I was thinking about getting laid, period. Besides, I think I was punished enough for what happened back then. I don't need shit from you now. I get that this is awful. That's why I woke you up. Or came to tell you, since you weren't asleep. But no matter how much this fucks up your life, it's fucking up mine more, okay? I really don't need a lecture from you right now. I made coffee. The least you can do is be civil.”

  Ryan banged his head against the headboard twice, then sighed. “Okay, okay. You’re right. I just… let me deal with this. Why don't you go back to bed? I need to get started on damage control and there's not much you can do right now, anyway. Thanks for telling me right away, though. That was the correct thing to do.”

  Tyler slunk back to his room, dismissed like a small child. Oh, let the grown-ups deal with this. They know better. Right.

  Tyler would never be grown up in his brother’s eyes. He'd always be the one who needed to be rescued. Like a fucking little princess.

  Screw that.

  If Ryan didn't need him, then he didn't need to stick around. He went back to his room and pa
cked his suitcase. Then he hunted for the keys he'd need. They were in the credenza by the front entrance to the condo, neatly labeled. Tyler pocketed them, then went hunting for Oliver.

  He found him on Ryan’s lap, the little traitor. So much for escaping undetected. “I'm taking off,” he said. “I just need to grab my cat.”

  “Where are you going that you need Oliver?” Ryan stood up, cradling the cat. He was a scowling golden giant and Tyler felt a small jolt of panic. Ryan looked so much like their father in that moment. His frown, his eyes, even his hair was the same. He couldn't help but flinch back a little. “Hey,” said Ryan. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, fine. I'm just feeling jumpy tonight.” He hated this instinctual cringing. He hated the weakness that he couldn't erase. At the best of times his brother made him feel physically inadequate—next to Ryan, Tyler’s hair was too dark, his skin too pale, his stature too short, his features too delicate. At the worst of times Ryan triggered that primitive portion of Tyler’s brain that had once belonged to prey, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to flee or fight.

  It wasn't Ryan's fault. He was overbearing and bossy, and he was every bit a product of his upbringing as Tyler was. It was something Tyler reminded himself, often while counting.

  “I'm about as fine as anyone would be in my situation, but I can't just sit here while you fix this. I'll go crazy. I need some space.”

  “Where are you going? To Brad’s?”

  Tyler barked out a laugh. “To play third wheel with him and Rachel? No thanks.”

  “Then where? Right now, a hotel isn't a great idea.”

  Tyler dangled the keys he'd grabbed in front of Ryan. “I'm heading north to the lake house and I need to borrow a car. Which one can I take?”

  “If you take my brand-new Porsche,” Ryan said in a mild tone, “I'll kill you.”

  “Figured as much. Which one can I borrow and still live?” Not the Volvo. Driving that stupid SUV makes me feel like a soccer mom.

  Ryan considered. “Take the Volvo.”

  Tyler groaned. “Fine.”

  “You know, you leaving the city is probably a good idea, now that I think about it, and the lake house is ideal. It's so remote I can't imagine anyone finding you there. But you can't…”

  “I can't what? Crash the Volvo? I wasn't planning on it, although I might be doing you a favor there.”

  Ryan frowned. “Please try and take this seriously, Ty. If you go up there, I need to know that I can trust you to keep your shit together. That you won't do anything stupid.”

  It was on the tip of his tongue to goad Ryan more, to force him to spell out what he was worried about, but it was getting on four a.m. and was either too late or too early for bullshit. “I’ll try,” he said.

  “Promise me,” Ryan said. “I have enough on my plate without worrying about your safety.”

  “I promise,” Tyler said, even as he was planning on how he would break that promise. “Will you help me put Oliver in his carrier?”

  Ryan smiled and it was like sunshine breaking out on his face. “Sure. No problem.”

  Later, after he'd helped Tyler load Oliver, his suitcase, and a ton of groceries in the car, Ryan said, “I love you, you know.”

  “I know.” He did, too, but that didn't mean Ryan’s love was an easy thing. It was a thick, woolen blanket on an already hot day. “I love you, too.” And I'm going to break my promise at the earliest opportunity because that's what I do.

  “Oh, and Ty, you might run into an old family friend up there.”

  “Who?”

  Ryan grinned. “Rachel’s brother, Josh. I don't think he's heading up until the weekend, though. He's rented a place on Blue Lake, but I'm not sure where, so you may or may not see him. If you do, maybe you can invite him over for a drink or something. You know, for old time's sake.”

  Tyler’s jaw dropped. “Josh Rosen, as in the boy who was pretty much your shadow for years?” Like Tyler could have ever forgotten who Josh was.

  His brother blushed, as well he should. “Yeah. I thought, what with him becoming a part of the family and all, I'd ask him to be one of my groomsmen when Stephanie and I get married. While we were talking he mentioned going up north for a vacation.”

  Wow. Tyler knew Ryan could be insensitive, but asking your childhood secret boyfriend to be in your wedding party was pretty impressively douchey even for him. “And you thought that asking him to be your groomsman was a good idea why?”

  Ryan looked confused. “He used to be my best friend and his sister is marrying our brother. Why wouldn't I ask him to stand up with me at my wedding?”

  Tyler gave Ryan a long look. “Think about it,” he said. “An answer may come to you.” Then he got in the car and backed out of the parking space, leaving a frowning Ryan in his wake.

  Chapter 2

  Josh Wallows in Nostalgia

  Friday, September 16th, 6:20 p.m.

  On the road

  Blue Lake, WI

  As he drove toward Blue Lake, Josh kept looking for familiar landmarks, but not much was as he remembered it. Granted, he hadn't been here in over fifteen years, and on most of the trips he’d been a backseat passenger sandwiched between Brad and Tyler. Also, he'd spent most of his time on the trips studying Ryan’s profile and the back of his head, living for the moments when, goaded by Brad kicking the back of his seat, Ryan turned around to glare at his brother. So, in general, he hadn't spent much time looking at the scenery. Later, when it had been him riding shotgun as Ryan drove or vice versa, it had always been dark by the time they'd arrived.

  Even so, it felt like much of the area had changed over the intervening years. As Josh drove into the town, he noticed that alongside the small touristy shops that persisted, there were stores that looked brand-new. A Walmart, a pharmacy, Starbucks, and a plethora of fast food restaurants had joined what had once been the sole Dairy Queen. The old IGA was still there, though, and he pulled in to pick up groceries.

  Even that hadn't escaped the march of progress. Instead of the bare-bones grocery store he remembered, it had reinvented itself into a gourmet food mart. One that did carry hot dogs, though, and marshmallows. Organic marshmallows, which somehow seemed wrong, but Josh threw them in the cart anyway.

  After buying groceries and getting gas for the pontoon boat that came with the rental, Josh headed for his temporary home for the next eight days. The sun would set soon and he wanted to get there before it was fully dark. As he drove closer to the lake, he noticed familiar landmarks, ending with the massive pine that no one could bear to cut down and so they had paved the road around it. Just before the tree was the driveway for the Chadwicks’ house. Josh resisted the urge to turn left down that driveway, and continued past the tree and down the road to where the drive for his rental was marked with a sign that read “Connolly Hollow.”

  Built along similar lines as the Chadwicks’ place, the rental was far too big to be called a mere cabin, but it had a facade of redwood logs to resemble one.

  He wandered around the house, feeling out of place. It was just familiar enough to be disorienting. This had been a colossally stupid idea. He’d thought coming here as an adult would jog him out of his juvenile unrequited obsession with Ryan Chadwick. Instead Josh felt lonely in a way he never felt when alone in his own home.

  His sister had told him he should have booked himself passage on a gay cruise ship instead of, as Rachel put it, “sulking in solitary splendor in the middle of nowhere.” Maybe it wasn’t too late to change his mind. Josh tried to picture a ship full of hot, horny men, but instead of the idea being attractive, the thought of being trapped on a boat with so many strangers made him feel claustrophobic.

  Scratch that, no gay cruises. Perhaps there was a happy medium between solitude and utter chaos, and while Josh tried to think of what that might be, he could sit on the dock, look at the lake, and drink himself into oblivion. Grabbing the bottle of whiskey he'd bought from the grocery store and not bothering with a glass, Jo
sh walked out through the screened porch, down the sloping lawn, past a clump of pines, and onto the dock right as the sun hit the edge of the tree line. The view was pretty goddamned amazing, all orange and red and gold against black trees. It was as gorgeous as his memories. The only difference was that this time he was sitting on a dock all by himself.

  Josh watched the last of the sun’s rays reflected on the water of the lake while he sipped at the whiskey and waited for the stars to come out. The mosquitos were going to chase him inside soon, which was just as well, since getting drunk and falling into the lake wouldn't be nearly as much fun in his thirties as it had been at fifteen.

  Memories crowded in on him, thick and fast. His, for lack of a better word, relationship with Ryan Chadwick had been a clandestine one, to say the least. Josh understood why, but it had still chafed. It was only during their summers that loosened, at least a little. He and Ryan would take off in the boat and explore down the chain of lakes that went on for miles, much of it surrounded by uninhabited land. Away from everyone’s eyes, the unspoken rules between them relaxed. Not as much as Josh wanted, but he’d been willing to take whatever Ryan would give him; Josh had been that pathetically devoted. He still was, after a fashion. Even after all these years, some part of him refused to give up on his teenaged dream of living happily ever after with Ryan Chadwick, as impossible as most of his brain knew that dream to be.

  It had started out innocently enough. Ryan's father, Peter Chadwick, discovered that his accountant’s son was a whiz in math, the subject his own son was close to failing. It had it made sense to their respective fathers to have Josh become Ryan’s tutor. The boys, while not friends, had known each other through meeting at company functions over the years where family was invited. Josh had been nervous as hell to start the tutoring, because Ryan had never previously given him the time of day. Thanks to Josh skipping kindergarten and going straight to first grade, Ryan was almost a year older than him, despite being in the same grade, and besides, Ryan was charismatic and popular and Josh was a gawky nerd. Nevertheless, right from the start Ryan had made an effort to be his friend. And in return, Josh, who was beginning to figure out that girls would never be his thing, experienced his first, devastating crush.